My Journey...

It’s 2am and I’m sitting here, unable to sleep, thinking about the Challenge tomorrow.  It will be a one mile walk and I am actually ready for it…I know can do it.  Ironically, I will be doing this walk just two days before the five year anniversary of the day I slipped on the ice and wrecked my knee.  I look back now, remembering the fear and the pain and the uncertainty, wondering if I would ever be able to walk normally again or if I would be forced to use a cane for the rest of my life or worse, a wheelchair.

I fell into a deep depression, feeling so lost.  I would lie in bed at night and cry for all the things I would no longer be able to do, like walk on the beach and climb stairs.  There were times that I wanted to die and be done with it.  I gained so much weight…unable to do things I was once able to do, I ate and I put on eighty pounds.  I was slowly able to get to the point where I could walk, but I was in so much pain.  I was terrified of falling again.  It was so bad that I would refuse to get out of the car if there was ice or any uneven ground.  The idea of taking a bath scared me because I was so afraid I would slip in the bath tub or step in water on the floor and fall.

Now, here I am nearly five years later.  I can not only walk normally, but I have lost over seventy pounds and I am in the North Side Fitness Challenge.  For four days this week I worked out on a treadmill, and tonight I completed a mile in 32 minutes and on a 2% incline.  I am so ready to face the one mile walk challenge tomorrow, and I thank God and the people in my life who helped me get here.  When I think of where I was then and where I am now it brings tears to my eyes.  I have a long way to go, but it is a journey I know that I can make because I can now look back and see where I’ve been…    

My First Workout

I survived...I am still alive and breathing after spending twenty minutes on the treadmill at the gym.  Granted it was at a slow pace but I did it :)  I am proud of myself.  I am also extremely tired haha.  I just might go back tomorrow.  It was kinda fun LOL :D

My First Week of the North Side Fitness Challenge

Well, I spent the first week of the challenge sick so I didn't get to do any of the workouts at the gym.  I did however lose 12 pounds.  Even though I know it is only a combination of water weight and being sick it was still great to see that loss on the scale.  Hoping for more next Saturday.  I bought some exercise ball weights today.  Not sure how to use them, but I am going to do some research online for some workout ideas.  I am finally feeling better so here we go.  Let's see what I can do this week.  Wish me luck!!!

2011 Already...

I had an amazing 2010, it is hard to see it go, but I am looking forward to this new year and what it might bring.  I am starting the Northside Fitness Challenge tomorrow.  Nervous but very excited to finally be doing something for myself and my health.  I know now that I am doing this for me and no one else.  I am taking control of my life and fighting for my health.  After being diagnosed with severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea in October of 2009 I went on a CPAP machine and now a year and three months later I have lost 70 pounds and I am feeling so much better. 

Another wonderful thing that happened in 2010 was having one of my dreams come true.  I published my novel "Face the Rain".  Twenty-five years in the making, in April I finally held the first printed copy of my book in my hands and I couldn't believe it.  It still seems so surreal.  Through this experience I have made so many new friends and traveled around promoting my novel.  I have more things planned in 2011.  It has been so rewarding for me and knowing that my words are reaching other people makes me very happy.  I can't wait to finish my second book which I have titled "Ocean Rose".  Right now I have six chapters finished, I hope it doesn't take another twenty-five years to finish it. 

So many exciting things to look forward to.  My sister has found happiness at last with a wonderful man and they will be getting married in May.  He proposed to her just before Christmas it was so romantic.  My little sister and her kids are everything to me and I am so happy they now have Chris in their lives.  I love you, my big little brother, welcome to the family.

I am going to write more on this blog.  Keep a 'journal' of my experience with the fitness challenge and with my book.  I will also post photos and other random bits of whatever pops into my head.  I hope you will visit and leave comments.  Thank you!!!   

Lighthouse Dreams my official website is born!!!

I have created my official website called Lighthouse Dreams to promote my novel "Face the Rain" as well as share my poems and other writings. I also have a section for my photography, my second love. Come and check it out. Look for the lighthouse...

The Beginning of a Dream...

As I write this I have finally finished my novel 'Face the Rain' and I have sent it to Misty Peak Publishing for review. They have already read my sample chapters and given me a lot of positive feedback and encouragement. I don't want to get my hopes up, but this could be it...this could be the beginning of my dream to be a published author. I thank those people in my life who have helped me get this far. Especially my little sister who has been wearing the hat of editor for the past few months. I don't know what I would have done without her. So whatever happens from this point on. I can at least say I accomplished something that I set out to do. I finished my novel!!!!

a-ha - Foot of the Mountain

The ninth album of a-ha is called 'Foot of the Mountain' and it is absolutely wonderful. I've had it for a little over a month and listened to it many times. My favorite track has to be 'The Bandstand' but all the songs with the exception of 'Start the Simulator', that one I just can't grasp, are brilliant. They are great summertime tunes to blast in the car with all the windows down especially 'Riding the Crest'. I would highly recommend any a-ha fan to buy this cd and introduce it to non-fans. I already have four converts. Morten Harket's voice is still so clear and strong as it picks you up and carries you through such breathtaking soundscapes. It is so hard to believe that he will be 50 years old September 14. I hope you will buy this cd and enjoy it as much as I have.

Buy it on Amazon.com
A-ha - Foot of the Mountain
You can also find the previous eight albums as well as solo work by Morten and Magne F and Savoy

Moments in Life

How many lives are altered by one moment in time, one decision made in that moment? How many moments does it take to completely and irreversibly alter ones life?

--Jennifer DeNaughel

Beware of Cute Faces!!!

Look at that face...but don't be fooled!!!

I had never seen a raccoon in its own natural environment before. I, like most people, thought that something so small and cute and adorable would be friendly and let you take a photo. Well, right after I took this photo, at a safe distance, or so I thought...she took offense and decided she wanted us out of there. Unfortunately, our dog chose that moment to jump out of the truck and she attacked him, biting him on his backside several times before my husband could get her off him. Copper then ran to me and I opened the door of the truck. He jumped in and I followed then she went after my husband. He had to jump in the back of the truck to get away from her. He had to climb into the cab without touching the ground and she was still coming at him. We figured out that she was either protecting babies or just didn't want us getting the food that some brilliant human had put there by her tree...dog food and a dead animal carcass. Don't feed wild animals and don't go within twenty feet of them. No matter how adorable they are. We learned this lesson the hard way. As for Copper, he had a trip to the vet and he will be okay with antibiotics and time. Luckily he was up to date on his shots so doc said he will be just fine.

Find Me

My First Trip to the Oregon Coast Age 4

I remember a little girl, a funny happy little girl, so full of life and mischief. Somewhere along the way I lost her. She is missing. I sense her presence from time to time, but I still cannot seem to find her. I want to. I try to. I long to. Someone help me find my way back to her again. With each and every pound I gain I bury her deeper and deeper. One day I will feel her no more. One day I will lose her forever. I have to find the strength. I have to find the courage. She needs me. I need her. I need me.